


Blackmail

by Robronobsession



Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-02
Updated: 2016-03-31
Packaged: 2018-05-04 13:42:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 16,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5336192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Robronobsession/pseuds/Robronobsession
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Connor comes back in search of money. And when Robert doesn't give it to him Connor has to use some of his secrets to blackmail Robert. (Inspired by a post by Bisexualsugden) Warning mention of drug use, overdose and attempted suicide.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Robert got up from the sofa, at what effectively now was partly his place but he still saw it as Vic's, and answered the door. He opened it to find someone he'd of never of expected. Connor.   
"What the?" Robert asked the blond in front of him.  
"Nice to see you too.” Connor said rubbing his shoulders due to the cold.  
"What? Why are you here?" Connors face dropped a little and he looked to the floor scruffing his shoes on the door step before looking at Robert with a slanted head.   
"Got kicked out."   
"What and ya think you can just turn up here?"   
"You're the only bloke I know that won't beat 10 shades out of me for showing up at his door."   
"Yeah and who's faults that?" Connor laughs fighting back the urge to ask how many friends Robert has.  
“I need some cash. Please Rob I'm desperate." He says, pleading on the door step, and Robert knows he hates doing that as much as Robert does himself.  
"You were always good at making money." Robert says.  
"Alright then." Connor says slightly angry and out of options. "How much you want?! A hour? Two! The whole night? Come on Sugden ya want me to earn money hay!"   
"Ok ok. Calm down!" Connor wipes his face and his breath is uneven as he breathes out slowly.   
"Come in. You don't... We're not going to. Ok? Just come in and calm down.”   
They walked into the living room and Robert urged Connor to sit.   
“Why ya get kicked out? I thought that..”  
“Yeah well you thought wrong.” Connor wiped his face, knowing what Robert was going to say. He was going to comment on how he thought Connor couldn't get kicked out. How the flat came with the job. Connor stood up and walked round the room. “I need cash Rob.”   
“Ok. Connor its fine. You can stay here till ya get back on ya feet or I can give you enough for a B&B or…”  
“No Robert. I didn’t want to do it like this but.. I mean serious cash.”  
“God Connor what you do this time.” Connor shakes his head, it was clear he was panicked and angry.  
“Lets just say got involved with the wrong people and now I’m in it big time. So… I need your help please Rob.”  
Robert shook his head but he could see Connor was in some big trouble. “I can give ya a few hundred.” Connor almost laughed as he walked around the room wiping his face. “I need more then that Robert.”  
“What? A few thousand? More? Connor look around you. Im staying in my little sisters house with her husband…I…I cant Connor I’m sorry…”  
“What? Ya gonna… Rob I need your help!”   
“Connor.” Robert said in as calm as voice as he could as Connor stopped still and put his hand in his pocket to pull out a rolled up letter.  
“Give me the money or i’ll tell everyone every last one of your secrets.”   
“What?”   
“I mean it.” Connor said holding up the envelope which Robert recognised.   
“…Why…how…” Robert was speechless and Connor laughed slightly as he rubbed his sniffing nose.  
“50 grand Robert. Or little sis finds out all your dirty little secrets and believe me I’ve got a lot more proof then this.”   
“You cant do this.”  
“Cant I?” Connor said as he walked to the door. “You’ve got my number. Im guessing I cant stay here but I’ve got enough for that B&B across the road.”   
Robert kicked a chair as Connor walked out and he sobbed a little on the floor. He’d almost got things back on track with Aaron. Almost. And now Connor might ruin his whole life.


	2. Chapter 2

Robert spotted Connor coming out of the B&B the next morning as he drank his coffee out side the caff.   
“Rob.” Aaron said as he walked up to him and Robert couldn’t help smile. This was the first time Aaron had walked up to him and not the other way around.  
“I… Do you wanna get a pint later? In the wooli…” Aaron smiled and huffed. "Do ya want to go on a date with me?”   
“Yeah yeah.” Robert couldn’t help his massive grin. They had a few pints and even kissed before after the divorce got finalised but out of town, a drink here and there in the wooli or the caff but not a ‘date’.  
“Right.” Aaron nodded his head. “See ya.” He said before leaning up and kissing Robert on the lips. Robert almost fell forwards when Aaron walked away and he knew he was blushing. 

Robert took a quick sip of his drink before Connor startled him.  
“Whos he?” He said from behind Robert, almost making him spit out his coffee.  
“Non of your business.” Robert says threw gritted teeth turning around.  
“Oh sham that is.” Connor smirks.  
“What is?” Robert says with equal angrier to what he had before.   
“That such a pretty little boy like him is gonna find out their going out with someone like you.”  
“Don’t you dare.” Robert said stepping closer.  
“Oi. You know how this works Robert. Get me my cash and I wont tell anyone anything. Ok?” Connor says stepping back and putting his hands up. Robert shakes his head at him as Connor walks off but he knows he has to get that money. Or find away for him to leave him alone. He cant loss Aaron not now and he couldn’t bear everyone knowing the things Connor knows about him.

Connor walks into the pub as Robert gets his phone out his pocket to make a few phone calls.  
“Pint please.” Connor says and smiles kindly as he pays. He watches as Roberts new toy boy talks to someone up the corner.   
'Lucky boy’ Connor thinks to himself as he drinks his pint. He subtly watch's as him and the woman speak before his attention is pulled to the man now leaning over the bar beside him.   
“Have you got any sausages?” A dark haired man asks the tall man behind the counter.  
“Yes and there for my customers not for u hum yours.” The tall man wiggles his finger in the direction of the other man.  
“Come on Marlon.” He pleads and Connor cant help smile into his pint at his little adorable face.  
“10, you can have 10.” Connor has to control himself from laughing as the tall man walks though to the back to get them.  
“Great lover of sausages are you?”  
“Me? No.. well yes but..um. Their not for me… Im Finn..by the way.”  
“Connor.” He says holding his hand out and he shakes it before he’s given the sausages over the counter.  
“Thanks. I’ll…um. See you later.”   
“See you later sausage boy." Connor says as the boy walks out and Connor can't help but check him out on the way there.

After a bit of digging Robert finds out why Connor got kicked out, and why he needed that kind of money. Connor was stupid enough to work for a guy Robert used to work for, privately. And this guy wasn't someone you wanted to get on the wrong side of, and definitely not someone you wanted to steal from. And yes that is exactly what Connor did. 40 grand according to one of Robert's old 'friends'. If Robert did that he knows he'd be dead but Connor seemed to of changed their minds, was always good at persuading a man that liked people like Connor. He was always good with computers and it turns out he's been slowly taking money out of his account. Robert doesn't even know why, free food and a house as big as home farm to live in, he knows he (Robert) hated the 'party's' and 'business arrangements' but he thought they'd be right up Connors street. 

Robert sits on his bed with his head in his hands, if he doesn't give him the money it won't be only his life that's shattered, Connor will probably be killed or worse to make up for his debt. He gets a text from Aaron and he can't help smile at the text.  
At the pub nowXx.

Connor, Robert could of guessed, was sitting at a booth as Robert walked in. He looked round and saw Aaron sitting at the back booth, the one opposite the bar, and smiled at him before he sat and joined him. “The back booth? Sure this is a good idea?”   
“Yes.” Aaron said with a little smile and he passed Robert his pint. Him and Aaron ordered food but Roberts glaze kept moving from the Dingle's that looked on and Connors little smirk.   
“You ok Rob?”   
“Yeah yeah fine.”   
“Hay.” Aaron said putting an hand over his on the table. “Screw them. They’ve had more affairs then they can count. Ok? I don’t care what they think about ya. You've been there for me through all this with mu mum and I know you. Not the you they do ok. How kind you are. All the bad stuff you’ve done, everything, and I still want to see if this, Us, works. Ok.”   
“I need the toilet.” Robert says before standing up and heading off, leaving a confused Aaron behind, shortly followed by Connor into the toilets. 

Roberts splashing his face with water when he stands up and sees Connor lent up agents the door. He moves quickly and pushes Connor to the wall hard.   
“Think this is funny do ya? You could reck mu whole life, everything, and ya cant even let me have one dinner! One dinner with Aaron no?”   
"I didn't do anything." Connor struggles to say, wiggling in Robert's tight grip.  
"Really! So you didn't go work for Simon!" Connor almost laughs but Robert slams him back again. "You know! You know how dangerous he is, what he did to me, and you go work for him! Steal from him! And you expect me to pay." Robert calms down a little as Connor looks down, he's breathing in small breaths and his eyes are glued on Connor.  
"Please Robert." Connor whispers.  
The door opens and Robert drops Connor as quick as he can as Cain walks in. “Whats going on here then?”   
“Nothing.” Robert says.   
“Oh really?”   
“Yeah.” Robert says quickly, his eyes commanding Connor to leave and Robert follows behind. 

Robert can see Cain’s eyes on him even more then before as he sits back down at the booth and eats with Aaron. Connor leaves though as soon as they left the toilets which Robert is relieved about. Robert can't deny he's relieved, but way more disappointed, when the meal ends and Aaron says he has to get back to his mum. But Robert adores the loyalty and love he has for his mum and he's so glad she's getting better, he couldn't cope with seeing Aaron so upset when she was ill.

Robert kisses Aaron as he gets in Cain's car to drive up to Zac’s. After they sold the pub Aaron and Chas moved to Cain's but Aaron and Chas soon decided to move in to Zac's. Robert walks back to Vics, looking out for Connor as he walks, trying to get the freshly dug up memories of his past out of his head. How could someone who was once his closest friend be willing, threatening, to tell everyone his deepest secrets. He was glad now of the things he kept to himself, though for years he regretted not confiding in Connor. He was so glad no one but him would ever know. 

Cain drives with Aaron beside him and goes in to have a little chat with Zac and Chas once Aarons upstairs. Though he tried to get Chas to go upstairs she wouldn't so he told them both about Robert and this other man.  
“I don’t know who he was but Robert sure didn’t like him.” He says after telling them about the man.  
“Maybe he’s a friend.” Zac says rubbing his beard.  
“Really? Cuz he was looking over all night and left as soon as they got out of them loos.”  
“What are you saying that Roberts cheating on Aaron before their even a thing?” Chas asks, upset not only from Robert cheating but she knows how much he's helped Aaron and how much he's changed.   
“Well theres one way to find out.” Cain says and he leaves. Cain drives off as Chas and Zac sit on the sofa.   
“He better not be messing are Aaron around.” Zac says.  
“Yeah. He only gets one chance to mess up with me and that chance’s already gone.”   
“Too right." 

Cain sneaks round to the back of Vics place and presses his ear to the window.  
“I need cash.” He hears Robert say.  
“50K...I know its short notice….Well your my flaming bank…. Yeah I know… Um its…Yes I …. Urrrr.” He hears Robert slam the phone down.   
“Yeah. Just a friend.” Cain says to himself walking off and getting back into his car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like it so far:) It's bound to get a little more interesting now Cain knows somethings up, but will he find out what?


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn and Connor get a bit more friendly, Aaron's shocked to find out Robert knows a rent boy and Cain decides to find out what Connors got on Robert that's worth 50k.

Robert waits sitting out side the caff drinking his coffee till he sees Connor walking towards him. He's still angry with Connor but he doesn't even know if it's the same reason. So many thoughts ran round his head last night he couldn't even sleep.  
“Got it?” Connor asks sitting down.  
“No.” “Wait wait.” Robert says seeing Connor grow inpatient and start to stand up again.  
“Im warning you.” Connor says falling back into his seat.  
“I know calm down your get it. Its just…”  
“Just what?!”  
“Ya cant get that kind of cash out for no reason.”  
“Oh I think your find you have plenty of reasons.”  
“Oh what should I just go up to the bank and say I need 50 grand cuz the rent boy I used to know is blackmailing me?!” Robert says in a sharp voice. Connor huffed out in frustration and stands up.  
“1 week. 1 week or I’ll blow all your dirty secrets.” He walks of down the road and Robert wipes his face, he looks around feeling a tear fall from his eye and stands up quickly to march home.

Connor walked down the street before he bumped into Finn.  
“Oh hi.”  
“Hi.” Finn says. “Um..”  
“Hay do you?….Do ya fancy a drink.. sometime?”  
“Yeah sure.. yeah.”  
“Good.” Connor smiles.  
“Hay you um..”  
“What?” Connor smiles.  
“Couldn’t give me hand could ya?” Connor smiles and lifts his eyebrows.  
“A hand! I mean boxes.”  
“What?”  
“Lifting. Lifting boxes. Could you help?” Finn says pointing to a couple boxes out side the B&B.  
“Where to?” Connor laughs.  
“Just to my house.”  
“Yeah I think I can help with that.” He smiles.

Connor walks round the house once he’s put his box down.  
“Nice place.”  
“Thanks.” Finn says and Connor walks up to him.  
“Bet the bedrooms even nicer.” Connor says before wrapping a hand round the back of Finns neck. Finn leans in as Connor does and gently kisses him. They hear the door slam and break apart from the kiss with a jump.  
“Alright little bro?” Ross says walking over and sitting on one of the kitchen seats.  
“Yeah um..”  
“I should go. See you later.” Connor says before leaving and Ross drops his I could kill face as the door shuts and its replaced with a smile.  
“Soooo who’s he?” Ross laughs.  
“No one.”  
“Ummm.” Ross laughs as Finn goes upstairs and Ross try's to call him back.

Roberts just back from town when he gets a text from Aaron to meet him at the pub for lunch. He runs home to put the money he could get under his bed before heading to the pub. Aaron’s sitting at the bar with Cain when he gets there.  
“Every thing ok?” Robert asks.  
“Yeah.” Aaron says looking confused. “Shouldn't it be?”  
“No, no reason.” Robert smiles but can feel Cain’s eyes on him. He wants to kiss Aaron, hug him, tell him everything about his past but he doesn't know what Aaron might do. He quickly kisses him of the cheek needing some contact, and sits down close to Aaron. They start to have a drink together and Cain can see Roberts body language and face changed when the man from before walks in and Lawrence and Bernice look up at the boy.  
“Oh not you again.” The man says to Lawrence.  
“Why are you complaining your the one who tried to get me arrested!”  
“Ya what?” Cain asks.  
“Robert payed him to try and get me arrested!” Lawrence says though Bernice try's to calm him.  
“What?” Aaron asks Robert.  
“It was right after me and Chrissie broke up, its a long story. I’m so sorry I know should of told you." Robert tells Aaron and Aaron nods to say it's ok.  
“Yeah well just keep your little rent boy friend away from me.” Lawrence says seemly calmer.  
“Rent boy?” Aaron looks to Robert. “How the hell do you know a rent boy?”  
“Aaron I can explain.” Robert says but he doesn't look to sure and the mans smile doesn't convince him either.  
“Yeah sure you can.” Aaron says looking at Robert shocked.  
“Its…uh…he um..” Robert try's but Aaron walks out of the pub not looking back. Robert stands up but Cain grabs his arm.  
“Leave him.” And so Robert does storming back to Vic’s place.  
Connor smirks before leaving and goes to find Robert.

“Oi.” Connor shouts after no reply. He knocks again and Robert answers.  
“What the hell are you doing here?!”  
“Rob everything ok?” Vic asks from in side the house.  
“Leave!” Robert says quietly throw gritty teeth before slamming the door on Connor who smirks when he sees Finn across the road.  
“Sausage boy!” He shouts running up to him.

Cain leaves the pub and huffs once out side, patients running low. He stops as he notices the man from before talking with Finn and Ross walking to the pub.  
“Oi.” Cain says as Ross walks past. “How’d your brother know him?”  
“Guess. Why’d you care anyway?”  
“Did you know he’s Roberts little rent boy friend?”  
“What!”  
“Yeah and I have a feeling him and Robert are doing something they shouldn’t.”  
“What ya mean?” Ross says angrily but also with a slight laugh, he can guess what they've been doing.  
“Well Robert had him pushed to the toilet wall yesterday and I heard him having a go at his bank, needing 50 grand apparently.”  
“50grand?" Ross laughed. "He must be one hell of a shag."  
“Maybe, but something smells like blackmail to me. Well you in or not?”  
“What you suggesting?”  
“Just that us and Finns little friend need to talk.” 

Connor kisses Finn before Finn walks to the B&B and Connor turns round to find Ross and Cain behind him.  
“Can I help?” He asks.  
“How’d you know Robert?” Cain asks.  
“Who’s asking.”  
“The uncle of the boy he’s seeing and the brother of the one your seeing. Again, how’d you know Robert.”  
“Well thats really something for him to answer.” Connor says trying to walk away.  
“Fine then, what do you want with him?” Cain says grabbing his arm and pulling him back so he's in front of them again.  
Connor looks them up and down before saying. “Money.”  
“50K?” Cain asks eyebrows raised.  
“Yep.”  
“Must be some dirty secret.”  
"Oh you wouldn’t believe.”  
“Why don’t you let us help then?” Cain asks.  
“Im good thanks.” Connor says before turning away.  
“Get him.” Cain says. They shove him into the back of Cain's car before driving. 

“Where are you taking me you nut jobs!?” Connor demands as Ross holds him in the back.  
“Somewhere we can talk.” Ross answers.  
“Let me out now!.”  
“Hey where almost there.” Cain says.  
“Been awhile since I had someone as fit as you hold me down.” Connor smiles hoping to get a reaction from Ross. They park outside a barn and they drag him in.  
“Talk.”  
“Why should I?”  
“Cuz if you don’t were make you.” Ross says and Connor laughs.  
“Why are you blackmailing him?” Cain asks.  
“Because I need the money why’d you think.”  
“We can do this the easy way or the hard way mate. What dirt do you have on him?!” Connor wants to make a joke about how he'd like them hard but they don't look like their in the mood for joking. Connor looks down and throws the envelope on the fool with a huff.  
“Thats how we met.” They both just look to the envelope then back to Connor.  
"Care to elaborate?" Ross asks.  
"I was high, out of my face and I saw a parked car with some guy unconscious in it. Vomit down his shirt, of course at first I thought it was just some drunk idiot.” He huffs before sitting on a hay barrel. "I walked up, to check he was ok you know, and…” He shakes his head. “the man inside is dead, and my first thought is to take his stuff.”  
“The first thought you have when you find a dead man is to nick his stuff?” Ross asks and Connor looks at him before continuing.  
"The car door wasn’t locked, so I climb in, start getting what I can. Wasn’t much mind, a empty wallet and a letter on the passenger seat. That's when I hear sirens. Someone must of called the police because I can see them. I drop the wallet and stuff the letter in my back pocket. The cops and ambulance arrive I freak out, tell them I’m the one who called in. Turns out the guy isn’t dead, I go along for the ambulance ride, stupidly said I was his cousin. I knew his name from the ID in his wallet, Robert. They give him charcoal to get all the drugs out of his system." Connor looks up at them and can see they want him to continue. "I open the envelope when I’ve gone down a bit, theres theses three letters inside one to Victoria; one to Andy; and one to his dad and Diane. They all say the same thing, Rob’s homeless, penniless, and hopeless, and that he’s sorry. I realise this guys OD wasn’t an accident."  
“Robert tired to kill himself?” Cain asks.  
“Yeah.”  
“And thats what you where blackmailing him with!” Cain says disgusted.  
“Theres more.” Connor says and Cain walks over to the envelope and picks it up.  
“When I realised he tried to, you know,”  
“Kill himself.” Ross says and Connor huffs.  
“I offered him a job.”  
“What kind of job?” Cain asks flicking throw the envelopes.  
“Same as I used to do.”  
“Robert was a rent boy?” Ross says shocked.  
“Yeah and a good one at that.” Connor says with a slight mumble.  
"So you turned him into a prostitute.." Ross starts.  
"Hay he'd already lost his innocence on that front before I met him." Connor says and Ross shakes his head.  
“So he’s paying you 50 grand not to tell anyone?” Cain says.  
“Well that and his little drug problem, well not little.” Cain half huffed half growled at the way Connor didn't even seem to care, he just checked Ross out instead.  
"How bigs not really little?" He asks.  
"He started with weed and coke, lithium, then ecstasy, LSD's, other hallucinogens, but they weren't enough."  
"So what?" Cain asked and Ross soon followed.  
"Heroin?" Ross asked and Connor nodded.  
"You've got to be joking me." Cain laughed in disbelief. "He's not that stupid."  
"Do you know how many blokes he was seeing a day? How many of them do you think were nice to him? You think he lived in one of those big home farm houses the entire time? Cuz I can tell you now when he wasn't working privately his entire flat was about the size of that houses living room with half its ceiling covered in mould. Give me one reason why he wouldn't, why 'he's not that stupid.'" Connor couldn't help get defensive. He'd helped Robert get off the stuff, seen what it did to him.  
"Bit defensive for some your blackmailing." Cain said.  
"I don't have a choice." Connor said. "I need cash, and quick." Cain looked at Ross and nodded his head towards the door.  
"You stay there." Cain said to Connor as him and Ross walked outside.  
"What are we gonna do?" Ross asked.  
"I don't care how much it is I'm not blackmailing him for doing that. Even I'm not that low." Ross nodded knowingly about Charity's past and the past of Cain's step daughter.  
"We just gonna let him go?"  
"I don't know." Cain replied. "He's just going to go blackmail him on his own if we..." Cain stopped as he heard the engine of his car start up. He turned to see it drive away, back towards the village.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert tells Aaron and Finn takes Connor to his room.

Connor knocked on Robert's door. No answer. He knocked again and the door started to open.  
"Rob." He said before he saw it was a young woman and not Robert.  
"Hi." She said confused.  
"Is Robert here?" He asked.  
"No."  
"Alright. Tell him, tell him his little boyfriends uncle knows everything and so will everyone else." He said before walking away.  
"What?" Vic asked after him but got no reply. She quickly picked up her phone.  
"Robert?"  
"Yeah." Robert said. He'd just arrived at the scrap yard to find Aaron.  
"Some man just knocked at are door."  
"And?" Robert asked dreading if it was Connor and what he might of told her.  
"He said to tell you Cain knows everything."  
"What!"  
"He said your boyfriends uncle knows everything and that everyone else will." Vic said still confused. "What.."  
"Don't listen to anything he says Vic. Ok. I've got to go."  
"What? Robert what's the matter?..." The other end went dead and she decided to call Andy to see if he knew what on earth was going on.

Aaron stormed out the porta cabin once he'd seen that Robert's car was out side.  
"I don't want you here you..." Aaron trailed off noticing the look on Robert's face. "Robert you ok?" He asked and Robert shook his head.  
"He's gonna tell everyone." Robert whispered.  
"What? Who's going to tell everyone?" Robert looked up at him and he looked like a lost child. "Robert come inside."  
"Aaron I need to tell you something."  
"Ok. Come inside yeah." Aaron said growing more concerned.

Robert sat down and rubbed his face as Aaron sat opposite.  
"I have to tell you first ok." Robert said.  
"Ok tell me." He said but Robert looked down.  
"I can't." Robert shook his head.  
"What? Robert."  
"You won't want me anymore."  
"I will. It's ok come on Robert please." Aaron said placing his hands over Robert's, desperately trying to think of anything to say. "You can tell me. I'm here ok I'm not going anywhere."  
"Yeah but you will."  
"No. I promise. Is this about that man?" Robert pulled his hands away and rubbed his face. He stood up to circle the room and Aaron sat back and looked down, his mind already decided what it is he can't say.  
"Did you sleep with him?" Aaron said and Robert stopped and looked at him. "Did you pay for him to sleep with you is that what this is about?" Robert opened his mouth but no words came out so Aaron nodded his head and stood up.  
"It's ok I get it."  
"No Aaron." Robert says softly.  
"No it's fine. Was it before we got back together? Was it when we were having the affair?" Aaron asked trying not to cry.  
"Aaron." Robert said shaking his head trying to step forwards.  
"Now?" He asked, had Robert really cheated on him already? "When you promised you'd changed?" Aaron nodded his head. "You were right I am leaving." Aaron makes for the door.

In a million years he doesn't expect the next words he hears.  
"I used to be a rent boy." Aaron stands still, hand still reached out for the door nob.  
"When I left Emmerdale. I used, I used to..."  
"Don't." Aaron said stopping him from saying the word before he turned round. He shook his head and lines were present on his forehead. "No. I... You.."  
"I use to work with him, The boy from the pub, Connor, he's blackmailing me." Robert stopped and swallow the lump in his throat as he watched Aaron.  
"You serious?" Aaron asked, still shocked and confused. Robert walked over the small distance and tried to place his hand on Aaron's arm.  
"Don't." Aaron said snapping out of his confused daze and walked to his desk leaving Robert behind.  
"Aaron please." Aaron's breathing was short and quick as he stared at Robert. He didn't know what to say, what to do. The man he loves just told him he used to sell himself, sleep with men for money, what was he meant to do?  
"Please Aaron. You said you wouldn't leave. Please."  
"How long?" Aaron whispered.  
"After I left the village. A while after I left...till when I started to work for the Whites." Aaron thought about that for a moment, calculating the years.  
"You worked for Lawrence for 5 years." Aaron says, tears now running down his face. "You...you were gone from the village for 9 years Robert."  
"I know." He says wiping his face.  
"You, you did that for 4.. For 4 years?" Robert looks down and nods his head. "FOUR years? No. No you would of told me."  
"How? How could I?" Robert says and memories of the cabin come feuding back for Aaron. Robert doesn't cry like he does, Aaron knows he cry's a lot but he's only seen Robert cry bad once and it looks like it might go as bad as at the cabin.  
"I couldn't lose you. I can't lose you Aaron." Aaron collapsed in his seat he was standing in front of. He started at Robert, wiping his eyes standing like a lost boy in the middle of the porta cabin.  
"You used to work with him." Aaron said staring blankly at Robert, no emotions in his voice.  
"Yes." Robert said with a cracked voice and pleading eyes.  
"That's why he's blackmailing you." Aaron nodded his head as he said the words, trying to understand what was going on.  
"Yes." Robert said. Aaron heard him sniff his nose, even that sounded shaky.  
"I needed to tell you before he did."  
"Why now?... Couldn't you pay him?" Aaron asked, a sad laugh in his voice.  
"Cain found out." Robert says, chin shaking.  
"You never would of told me?" Robert shakes his head. "Four years. Four years of your life you would of kept secret from me?"  
"I knew if I told you you wouldn't of wanted me." Aaron shakes his head with a sadend smile.  
"You didn't know that?"  
"Yes I did. Why would you. You never would of wanted to touch me again, knowing how many men have. You would of found me disgusting. You wouldn't of hated me like I..."  
"Like you hate yourself." Aaron says, a kindness back in his voice, realisation setting in.  
Robert didn't say anything, he didn't need to as his lips pull across his face and he looked like that lost boy that sat on the floor in front of Aaron, crying at the cabin. Robert sat on the floor, head in his hands, and used his legs to push himself in to a corner. Aaron stared for a moment before standing up quickly and rushing to Robert's side. He embraced him in to a huge. "Shhhh. I don't hate you. I don't hate you." He said stroking Robert's hair.  
"But I hate myself." Robert said blubbering into Aaron's shoulder. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
After leaving Vic's Connor started to storm down to the pub, he'd had enough and there was other ways of getting money, other men whose secrets he had many of.  
"Connor!" Finn shouted as he saw him. Connor calmed down a little as he saw him walking towards him from the other side of the road. Before he got to him Connor pulled out the phone vibrating in his jeans that he slipped from Ross's pocket. He turned the phone of and popped it back into his jeans as Finn got to him.  
"Sorry about my brother."  
"It's ok." Connor says.  
"My... He won't be at the house now. If you want." Connor thinks about it for a moment before kissing Finn as a yes. They quickly walk to his house. Connor knows it'll take them a while to walk back to Emmerdale and now he wants Finn because of more then desire. They get in and Finn closes the door behind Connor.  
"So that bedroom you were talking about earlier?"  
"Right, um I just wanted to say I don't normally do this. I normally get to know them a bit before you know."  
"Yeah I get it." Connor says before kissing Finn again. "So that bedroom?" Finn nods and shows him the way. 

They get into Finns room and start kissing again. Connor starts to unbutton Finns shirt and Finn does the same. Once both are topless Finn breaks the kiss.  
"Are you clean?" A question he's learnt to always ask, one Val told him to and now she's gone he feels more of a need to ask. Connor looks at him a bit annoyed, which doesn't boost Finns confidence. "I don't know. Yeah I think so."  
"Well how many people you been with since you checked? You have been tested right? Like gone to a clinic?"  
"Yes." Connor says, he's been many times due to his job. "I don't know how many men I've been with since then."  
"I don't want to risk getting anything." Finn says and at first Connor looks a little annoyed but then he kisses Finn again and starts to undo Finns jeans.Finn can't help but hum into the kiss as his jeans are undone.  
"Right." Connor says breaking the kiss. "But I've been wanting to do this all day." He slides to his knees and Finn moves his fingers into Connors hair. Finn leans against the door as Connor bobs his head. 

Connor stands up and wipes his mouth. "Good?" He asks.  
"How... That was amazing." Finn says breathless. He pulls Connor close by his jeans and starts kissing him again before he slides his hand down Connors boxers. They kiss as Finn thanks him.

Connor sits on the bed shirt undone as he watches Finn get dressed. Finn knows he's blushing so turns his face away. His eyebrows knock as he sees a message appeare on a phone on the floor. He walks over and picks it up. Connor stands up quickly.  
"Why? How'd Cains phone turn up in my room?"  
"I don't know who that is." Connor said, realising it must of falling out of his back pocket. Finn looks at him and knows somethings not right.  
"Was it you?" Finn asks.  
"What?"  
"Did you take Cains phone?" Finn says confused as to why and how it made its way into his room.  
"Finn."  
"Just get out." Finn says and Connor does as he's told. 

He starts to walk over to the pub, his mind made, he was telling everyone.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> its only a little one:) Connor goes to the pub to tell everyone about Roberts past.

Robert layed in Aaron's arms, his own arms hugging Aaron. "You're not disgusting." Aaron says into Robert's hair.  
"I am."   
"No. No you're not, ok. And I still I love you."   
"You don't know how many men I've been with, the stuff I've done...And all the things I've said to you, being a hypocrite about..."  
"You're not a hypocrite Robert.” Aaron said softly slightly confused.  
"Yes I am." Robert says in a calmer voice before looking into Aaron's eyes.   
"Robert the stuff you've called me, the things you've said to me, they have nothing to do with you." Robert slowly started to move from Aaron's lap and sat on the floor opposite him. "I'm sorry for everything I've said to you. They were discussing and lies and I had no right to say them, especially with..."  
"Hay." Aaron says sliding over the floor so he's in between Robert's legs. Aaron cups his face and he can tell there's something else.   
“He's gonna tell everyone." Robert says standing up quickly. Aaron stands up and grabs his phone out of his pocket.  
"Cain." He says when the phone is answered.  
"No it's Finn."   
"Finn? Why have you got Cains phone?"   
"Connor had it, a friend of mine, I found it on my floor after..."   
"Connor had Cains phone?"   
"Yeah."   
"Right I've gotta go." He says hanging up. Robert looks at him confused and panicked. “Right we’re going.”   
“Where?”   
“The wool pack, Connor will be there wont he? If he’s planning on telling people.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Andy and Vic sat at the bar. He’d come when she phoned him and Bernice told them about Roberts friend being a rent boy. Now she sat with Nicola at the end of the bar gossiping about something or another.  
“I still don’t get what it has to got with Cain though.” Andy says.  
“How should I know?” Vic replied. Just then Connor walked though the pub doors. “Thats him.” She whispered. They watched him look around then he walked over to them. "You live with Rob right."   
"Yeah." Vic said. Connor looked at her and smiled.  
"You Robs sister?"   
"Yeah and I'm his brother. Who are you?" Andy asked, not very politely.  
"Someone that needs to talk to you."  
"About?" Andy asked squaring him up. Connor laughed slightly.  
"Oh I've got a lot to tell you about your brother." 

"Connor." Robert said almost breathless as he saw him with his family, he turned and faced Robert. Just then Diane came through the back door, where the loos are, with Doug.   
"Connor." Aaron said stepping in front of Robert. "Come out side.” He said. "You don't have to do this." he whispered hopefully quiet enough to the others didn't hear.   
"Don't have to do what?" Andy asked.  
"How I know you brother." Connor smiled turning to face him.  
"I think we can guess that." Nicola said from her place next to her sister.  
"Yeah? How do you think we know each other?" Connor replied.  
"What's going on Robert?" Diane asked standing next to Andy and Vic. Robert didn't know what to say, he was worn out with crying and the memories of his past.  
"Finding out how Robert knows a prostitute Diane." Nicola said, obviously slightly tipsy. "Though I think we all know." She laughed.  
"Robert." Diane said disappointment clear in her voice. If she's ashamed now. Robert thought. Coming out was probably one of the hardest things to do for Robert, and that wasn't even a bad thing, he can't let people, his family, know what he used to do, used to be.  
"Oh you really don't love." Connor smiled.  
"Shut up." Robert said quickly. "Why are you even doing this?" Robert tried not to show how desperate he really was for Connor to go and never come back.  
"Because I feel like it." Connor said, seeming like he was king of the world. "I've felt down for ages, weeks, but this. This, I feel on top of the world right now." Connor had a look in his eyes that Robert hadn't seen in him when he wasn't on something. That's what it was, Robert thought to himself, he was high so didn't care about hurting him, destroying his life.  
"What do you mean?" Andy asked.  
"Me?" Connor asked smiling like the Cheshire Cat. "Well I doubt you'll believe how I know you're little bro."   
"Connor." Robert stepped forward. He knew how to handle Connor when he was on something, well sometimes. "What have you taken?" Robert said quietly.  
"What have I take?!" Connor repeated Robert. "Nothing." Connor spate. "That's more your thing isn't it?" Connor asked a smirk on his lips. "Or don't you do that anymore?"   
"What!" Vic asked standing up.  
"Oh you didn't know?" Connor said excited.   
"Robert you idiot." Andy said shaking his head.  
"You think he's an idiot now mate." Connor smiled. Aaron looked at Robert, he didn't know what to say, but he knew he needed Connor to stop talking.  
"Connor." He said in a firm voice.  
"Trying to be scary?" Connor said bottom lip pushed out. "Did you know about your boyfriends little drug problem? Wellll, not little, definitely not little was it Robbie?" No one could help looking at Robert, couldn't hide disappointment in their eyes, and he looked down. Victoria opened her mouth but no words formed.  
"Did you know about the over dose?" Aaron's head shot to Connor then, away from Robert. "Wasn't an accident was it Robbie?" Robert could feel tears in his eyes as a very pissed off looking Cain and Ross walked through the doors and stopped seeing that they were too late.  
"You told them then?" Ross said looking to Connor and Connor’s smirk got bigger.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His family find out even more about Robert's past.

"You knew?" Andy said confused.  
"Yeah." Ross said kindly. "He was hanging around Finn and found out he was a...well you know."  
"We thought he was sleeping with Robert." Cain said. "Didn't realise he was black mailing him because he used to do what Connor does for a living."  
"What do you mean he used to do...?" Vic said. "No he did drugs that's what Connors on about." Robert's hart broke that little bit more hearing Vic's broken voice, he could tell she understood Cain but didn't want to believe it.  
"I used to be a..." Robert said not lifting his head.  
"No. Drugs that's what this is about."   
"Vic." Aaron said calmly. He slipped his hand into Robert's pocket to hold his hand. Robert swallowed and looked up, he looked to Victoria and nodded.  
"When I first left the village, I had nothing else." Robert says looking to his little sister.  
"You could of phoned! Could of come home."  
"I couldn't Vic."   
"Yes. Yes you could of." Vic nodded, eyes starting to water. "Why didn't you just come home." He couldn't help tears run down his cheeks at Vics broken voice.   
"Robert." Andy said now standing up. "I'm so sorry. I thought, we, thought you'd be ok." Robert couldn't help sniff a laugh.  
"Thought I'd be ok? I was a kid Andy. Where was I meant to go? What was I meant to do after dad kicked me out?”   
“What?” Vic looked to Andy. “I thought he chose to leave.” Andy shock his head and looked down. Vic swallowed the lump in her throat and asked, in a almost small scared voice.  
“He said you over dosed.”  
“Yeah.” Robert said, looking down again.  
“You tried to kill yourself?” She asked, tears now wet on her cheeks.   
“Yes.”  
“You tried to kill yourself with drugs.” Victoria said trying to make sense of everything she had just learnt about her brother.  
"The first time.” A part of Robert didn’t even realise what he said till it was out of his mouth, he’d never told anyone that story.  
“How many time?” Vic asked, the sad calm gone from her voice and replaced with a deep fear. “How many times have you tried to kill yourself Robert?” She held onto the railing at the edge of the bar to keep her standing, worried her legs would give up and let her fall to the floor.  
“Twice.” Connors face changed at that. Robert never told him of the second attempt and he knew he'd now have to tell his family, and the events leading up to it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had wrote more but that part wasn't finished so I cut the chapter down to post it now as I haven't posted for a while.


	7. Chapter 7

“When was the second?” Connor asked, almost angry.  
“When I was worrking for that dick head of a boss of yours.”  
“Why?” Connor said seeming even more confused. Robert couldn’t help getting angry over the memories. Couldn’t help snapping.  
“Maybe because he hadn’t let me out the house in 8 months! Maybe because I didn’t want to be his, And all his mates!, personal sex toy! Maybe because I didn’t want to be told I’m worthless every day! Not knowing if id wake up with more men in my bed then climbed in before I went to sleep! Maybe because he was a psychopathic dick head!”  
“Robert.” Aaron said trying to stay calm behind a shaking Robert, though half of him wanted to run while the other wanted to hug Robert and never let him go.  
“I didn’t know.” Connor said.  
“What?” Robert questioned.  
“He had a stroke a while back, mellowed I guess.” Connor says almost with a srugg. Robert laughed with his breath, pulling a hand down his face, turning so he didn’t have to face Connor.  
“Mellowed?” Robert spat at him, turning to face him agin. He stood there and breathed heavily as expecting a answer.

"Right everyone out!" Diane said looking to the punters as Robert stands. "Everyone who's not family leave now!" Robert stood still as people left, some showing they where looking at him and some trying to hide it. "You too." Andy said looking to Connor and Connor walks out with almost a disapproving smirk. "Shouldn't you make sure he stays away from your Finn?" Andy tells Ross who then too leaves.  
"Pet, why didn't you ever say anything?” Diane asked a now slightly calmer Robert once the doors closed. Aaron’s stood slightly further away, he couldn’t help it its just what his legs decided to do.  
“Did you know?” Diane asks Aaron.  
“I found out today.”  
“I didn’t want anyone knowing.” Robert says.  
“We’re your family Rob.” Vic said. “You can tell us stuff, you know we’re still love you.”  
“Yeah well it took me nearly 30 years to come out of the big bi closet so don’t expect me to be too trueful.”   
The pub filled with a slightly awkward silence, what were any of them meant to say? Andy spoke first.  
“Im sorry. If we’d u known..”  
“What?” Robert asked stopping Andy from finishing. “Come rescued me? Let me back into the village?”  
“Something.” Andy said. “We would of tried to do something.”  
“What so its my fault now for not telling anyone?”  
“No.” Andy replied to Robert. Robert nodded and turned to Aaron.  
“Im going home.” He said as a question, when Aaron didn’t say anything he asked. “You coming?” Aaron went to speck then closed his mouth again. “Fine.” Robert left the pub and walked home. Aaron stood there for a moment before going after him. 

Aaron grabbed the door to Vic’s after Robert walked through. “Rob.”  
“Just go Aaron. Its fine, I didn’t expect you to stick around.”  
“Dont.” Aaron said before walking over to Robert. He grabbed his face softly, though Robert tried to turn away, and looked into his eyes. “Its ok. This hasn’t changed anything between us.” Robert nodded and whispered a un-hearable ‘ok’ before Aaron pulled him down slightly to give him a soft open kiss. Robert rested his forehead on Aaron’s, their eyes closed.   
“Im sorry I never told you.” Aaron open his eyes and rubbed his thumb on Roberts face to which Robert open his eyes to look into Aaron’s.  
“There wasn’t really a time to tell me was there.” Robert smiled lightly and nodded.  
“I love you.” He said softly, Aaron replied with a soft kiss. 

Victoria walked through the door and breathed a sigh of relief when she saw them kissing in the living room.   
“Robert.” They broke apart and Robert looked at his sister for a moment before looking down.  
“Vic.” She opened her mouth but it was clear that she hadn’t got the words formed in her head, Robert smiled quickly and nodded.   
“I need to go upstair for a minute.” Robert said before leaving and going upstairs. Vic watched as he left then turned to Aaron.  
“Are you ok?” Vic asked Aaron, looking very not ‘ok’ herself. Aaron nodded but she could tell he wasn’t. “Its ok you know. I still cant believe it.”   
“Im fine Vic..” Said seemly trying to avoid the conversation.  
“Your not going to leave him over this are you?”  
“No… thats the thing Vic, we weren’t even together. ”  
“But I thought you two were a thing?”  
“We haven’t even been on a proper date Vic. I don’t even know if I’m ready for, a boyfriend a what ever, I still don’t know if Ive forgiven him.”  
“So… what? Your just gonna ditch him now? Now he’s told us something like that?..”  
“I…” They didn’t hear the front door close.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that it took ages and this is short, also sorry if there is any spelling mistakes.


	8. Chapter 8

Robert had heard everything. Of cause Aaron didn’t want him, he thought to himself as he got in his car, they weren’t even together he was just trying to fix what he had already broken with Aaron. He was stupid for even trying. Surely, wasn’t he?

“So… what? Your just gonna ditch him now? Now he’s told us something like that?..”  
“I….”  
“Do you still love him?” Aaron looked down, he knew the answer, of cause he did, he’ll always love Robert Sugden, that he was sure of.  
“Yes. But Vic theres more to it then that.”  
“Can you work through it? The ‘more to it’?”  
“We were. Yeah, yeah we can its just..”  
“Just what Aaron?” Vic said worried about her friend, she didn’t want him pushing himself, she knew how that ended.  
Aaron didn't know what to say, ‘he tied me to a radiator.’ ‘I helped him cover up Katie's death.’ ‘Im worried he’ll say something and his words will kill me.’  
“Its complicated, we’re complicated."  
“Right, well he kinda needs you now Aaron.”  
“I know.”Aaron said sounding almost defeated. He sat down on the sofa. "I cant believe he never told me. Twice Vic, twice and I didn’t even know. I mean I know he’s not big on people knowing stuff about him, but.. I don’t know, I thought he’d be able to talk to me about, you know, he knows I tried when I was younger.”  
“You know Robert doesn’t really like talking.”  
“I know.” He sat there for a moment before he realised he couldn’t hear anything. Shouldn’t he hear walking from upstairs? “Did you hear Robert go upstairs?”  
“What?” Vic said confused. “No I…. Robert!” She shouted then ran upstairs when she got no answer. “He’s not here!” She shouted from upstairs. 

Robert drove, he knew where he was going, there was a lot more gay bars then just bar west in Yorkshire, ones with a far worse reputation. He parked outside a row of tall shop buildings. He got out and pulled his hands down his face before looking up. He could see green light shining through one of the higher windows, though thick curtains were pulled across. He used to come here, way back when he wore tight jeans and stupid t-shirts that he thought were funny. He took off his tie before locking his car and walked over to an alleyway beside the building. He looked up the metal stairs that lead to a white door and felt his heart race, he closed his eyes before opening them and walking up.

He pushed open the heavy door and nearly fell back by the force of the music and smell coming from the place. The green and purple lights beamed lines of light around the room as he walked in, shutting the door behind himself, and the smell of sweat, alcohol and weed sent him dizzy. He saw what he was looking for, the black bar in the corner of the room, and walked over. “Whisky.” he demanded the short dark man behind the bar.  
“Someones thirsty.” The boy said, Robert hadn’t realised how forceful his voice sounded till the word came out, he he really did need a drink.

“Im gonna check the porta cabin!” Aaron shouted to Vic who was on the phone to Andy. His heart sunk when he reached there and didn’t see Roberts car, he checked inside before going to sit back in his car. He sat trying to think, think of anywhere he could be, looking at the staring wheel. His head shot up and he started the car and drove quickly.

Robert downed the drink fast. “Got anything stronger?”  
“Sure do.” The bar man said. “How strong you want?”  
“Whats the best you got?”  
“Depends, are we still talking drinks?” Robert didn’t really know how to answer, the smell and energy of the room filled his systems. A man knocked into him, obviously drunk. “Hello hansom.” The skinny boy said, stroking Roberts side. “Haven’t seen you before.” Robert shrugged him off.  
“I want shots.” Robert said to the bar man. “How ever many this will buy.” He said handing over a wad of cash.  
“Looks like someones dying for a good time.” The boy now stood next to him said sliding his fingers into the top of Roberts jeans. Robert just moved away again and the boy shook his head and left, joining a boy dancing. Robert looked around at the dancing boys and the older men stood around the edge of the room, some talking to the boys where others just looked. Robert felt sick remembering his first time here, being dragged into a side room bye a ma in his late 20 . A man who later would turn out to be his first pimp, Clive. 

He looked back to the bar and the row of shots lined up, he smiled at the almost warm memory of shots here when he was younger. The memory of shots drank to fast, some one naked men in back rooms, people cheering as he beat who ever thought they could drink faster them him. Then he remembered the rows of more then just shots, lines of white dust on mens bodies and table tops. He grabbed the first shot and downed it quickly.

Aaron felt relief like he’d never felt before when he didn’t see Roberts car, he still jousted out of his car and peered over the top of the long drop cautiously. The air was ice cold as the sky turned black, he walked back to his car parked far away enough from the mouth of the quarry so it was safe and rested his head on the staring wheel. He jumped as his phone went off and saw it was Vic.  
“Vic! Have you found him?”  
“No.” She said sounding disappointed at the fact he obviously hadn’t either. “Have you rang him? I can’t reach him.”  
“Ive left him a hundred voice mails Vic.” He said trying not to start crying. “It says he hasn’t read any of my texts either.”  
“He’s probably just staying at a friends or…” She said quickly, Aaron knew she was trying to think of anything that would mean he was ok.  
"Yeah, yeah I’m sure he fine Vic.” Aaron said, lying to himself to try and calm her down. “Im coming back, can I wait for him at yours?” He drove back when she said yes, he was fine, he was fine, Aaron repeated to himself over and over as he drove back, but something told him he wasn’t.

Robert clung to the edge of the bar, his legs betraying him. “You ok there mate?” A young boy asked who was ordering 2 pints.  
“Yeah.” Robert slurred. Robert saw a little pouch of white going out from the boys pocket. “You ever done that before?” He asked pointing to the pocket.  
“No.” The boy said, looking over to an older man in the corner who nodded at him.  
“Dont.” Robert smiled. The boys head shot round to look at him again.  
The boy laughed shaking his head. “What? 'Cuz it will ruin my life’?” Robert was the one to laugh this time.  
“Ive had lines off naked mens asses! Forgotten days just.. just fucking whoever wanted to fuck me, just… just not giving a crap, as long as I got a hit at the end of it, Ive fucked up my whole life.” He took another blue shot off the bar. “Its my fault, I get that.” He laughed almost falling off his char.  
“Im not taking life lessons of a drunk man wallowing in self pity.”  
“Im allowed to wallow.” Robert said getting defensive. "Got shot, lost the man I love, killed my sister in law.”  
“What?”  
“So im gonna sit here and wallow, got a problem with that?”  
“Ummm, no mate.” The boy said before walking away quickly. Robert dragged himself off his seat, noticing all his shots were gone, and stumbled out the door.  
He walked down the stairs and the road till he got where he wanted to be. He pressed the buzzer on the block of flats, pressed till he got an answer.  
“Its me, its Robert.” He said drunkenly and the door beeped, letting him in.


	9. Chapter 9

“Robert.” The man said sounding disappointed.  
“Can I stay here?” Robert asked his words slurring.  
“Arr” The man said looking round his flat “Umm you can stay on the sofa, unless you looking for a lad..”  
“No, I’ll take the sofa.” Robert said walking into the flat and falling onto the sofa, he passed out almost as soon as he hit the fabric.

Robert woke up in the dingy flat. The dark stain on the cellen as large as it was when he lived here, covering half of the flat. The walls smelt faintly of damp around him and the sofa smelt of drugs and food. He looked around and a man in a suit gave him a dirty look as he left before the man from last night sat on the wooden table in front of him.   
“Did that man just give me a dirty look?” Robert said softly as his head was still mashed.  
“Yep.”  
“And I’m guessing he was here to sleep with a boy, and he’s giving me dirty looks?”  
“You were dribbling. Why you here Robert?” The man said lighting a cigaret which Robert reached for. “Oi.” The man said moving it away.  
“My head hurts.” Robert wined, reaching for it again with not luck.  
“No wonder the state you were in last night. So.. the last time you were here I seem to remember you saying you’d rather die then come back to this dump. So what changed?”  
“Everyone knows. Connor told them.” Robert said hugging the cover that was chucked over him last night.  
“What, Ummm, Chrissie? He told her?”  
“She’s not the one who matters.”  
“Thought you were married to her?”  
“No, I cheated, I’m with Aaron.”  
“Wow your out?” He turned to face away from Robert. “Ben! You ow me a fiver!”  
“Your a Dick Luke.” Robert said holding onto the side of his own face.   
“Last night not much fun then?”  
“I think I flipped at some boy.”  
“What you mean?” He asked and Robert laughed softly.  
“Told him how crap my life was, that kind of rubbish.”   
“Yeah that doesn’t sound like you at all.” The man said sarcastically.  
“You got anything for my head?” Robert asked hiding under the blanket again.  
“Yeah wait here.” Luke said before walking into the kitchen then back again. “Here.”   
“What is it?”   
“When have you been fused what goes in ya?.” Luke asked.  
“Well obviously never considering you’ve been in me.” Robert laughed before having to hold his head again.  
“Serves you right for laughing, I’m a great shag.” He said watching Robert quickly take the remedy from him. "Alright, just sleep the rest off alright mate.” Luke said patting him on the shoulder as he walked away.

Robert woke to loud groans and squeaking. Less hangover he sat up and saw the noise were coming from his old room, the one with a foot shaped hole still through the door. He turned round and saw Luke in the kitchen.  
“You not do any work round here then?” Robert asked getting up.  
“Hay I had too blokes while you were out of it.”  
“Really? How long was I out?” Robert asked walking into the Kitchen.  
“Few hours.”  
“What time is it?” He said before looking to his watch. “2, great.” Robert said sarcastically.  
“What you got somewhere to be?”  
“No, actually.”   
“So what this boyfriend of you kick you out after he found out or something?”  
“No.”  
“So?...Why are you here?”  
“I screwed it up way before he found out. And I cant handle it, my entire family knowing that I used to..”  
“Wait what? Your back with your family?”  
“Yeah, moved back at the end of 2014.”  
“So your gonna ditch your whole family because of that weasel?”  
“I..” His face turned sideways as Luke slapped him. “What the hell!”   
“You! Thats what. What are you gonna do hay? Turn into a 30 year old prozzy?”  
“No. Why the hell did I even come here?”  
“Because you knew Id tell you to go back, you don’t want this Robert. So go man up and deal with it. So they know! Who cares?”  
“Me! I care Luke!”  
“Oh grow up. Do they still want you around?”  
“I don’t know.”  
“So thats a yes then? Do you want me to drive you back?! Cuz I will you know.”  
“Ive got my car.” Robert said quietly.  
“Right then, stop being a whiny bitch and move that lovely ass of yours."  
“K.” Robert said walking out of the kitchen and into the hall before stopping quickly.  
“You promise your go home?”  
“Yeah.” Robert said as he left stashing something into his pocket as he left.

He got back in his car and drove back to the village. He parked outside Vic’s house and sat there for a moment, deciding weather or not to leave or not. Aaron saw Roberts car out of the window and ran out of the house, Robert left the car when he saw him and was surprised when Aaron hugged him. He hugged the younger man back. “Where were you?” Aaron whispered onto Roberts chest.  
“Just needed to clear my head.”  
“Well Im glad your back. You stink though.”  
“Yeah I know sorry.” Robert said removing his arms from around Aaron. They went back into the house and Robert walked upstairs to take a shower.

He stood in front of the mirror as the water poured. He looked down and held up a small bag filled half way with white powder. He stared at the contents before he laid it on the side and quickly fumbled round to quickly grab a fiver out of his wallet. He looked at the bag again thinking everything over before he rolled up the fiver and opened the bag. Suddenly there was a knock at the door and the white powder was down the sink.  
“Rob!” Aaron shouted through the door.  
“What?!” Robert said slightly angrier then intended.  
“Vic’s here.” Aaron replied. “You ok?”  
“Yeah.” Robert said running the tap quickly then stepping into the shower.

He came down to find both Vic and Andy sat with Aaron.   
“Whats this a intervention?”  
“No, just… you ok?” Vic asked Robert who was now dressed in jeans and his purple shirt.  
“Yeah.” Robert answered. “Look I needed to clear my head.”  
“Do you want to talk about…” Vic asked.  
“No." Robert said interrupting her. "Can we just forget about it? Please.” The three looked at each other then Aaron said.  
“Ok.”  
“Good.”  
“I’ve gotta go back to work…” Andy said turning to vic.  
“Yeah same.” Vic replied.  
“You two get off its fine.” Robert said. The two left leaving just Aaron and Robert who stood in silence.  
“I heard Vic ask if you were going to leave me yesterday.” Robert said quietly after a moment.  
“Is that why you left?”  
“Are you?” Robert asked. “I wouldn’t blame you.”   
“No. I not gonna leave you Robert.”  
“Im just gonna hurt you again anyway. You’d be better off…”  
“No, Im better off with you.” Aaron said walking towards him.   
“Alright.” Robert agreed.  
“You believe me right?” Aaron asked sensing something off.  
“Yeah.” Robert said. “You better go to work, don’t want Adam having a go at you for slacking.”  
“You sure your ok? It couldn’t of been easy when he told everyone but you can't hide in here. I could spend the day with you if you wanted.”  
“Im fine, I gotta go to Hotten anyway. You get off I'm good."


	10. Chapter 10

Robert left shortly after Aaron and drove into Hotten like he told Aaron he was. He actually had a job interview. He sat through it and tried his best to get the job but his mind was on other things. He knew he didn't get it as soon as he left, they made that pretty clear. As he walked out off the building he saw someone down the side of a building on the other side of the road passing over money to a girl in a hoodie who then gave them something, he looked at the building behind him then back to the girl and walked over.

Aaron couldn’t help but worry as he worked and Adam noticed.  
“What is it?” Adam asked once they got into the porter cabin.  
“Nothing.”  
“Robert came home didn't he?”  
“Yeah.”  
“But?”  
“I don’t think he believes I still want to be with him.”  
“Well your boyfriend finding out you used to sell yourself for drugs can’t really be that great for anyones ego.”  
“I just want him to talk to me about it, I just keep having these thoughts running through mu head.”  
“Like what?”  
“Don’t know. How he got out of it. When the last time he used drugs was, if.. if he took anything while we were together. I mean I didn't think he ever did, but now after Connor told everyone.”  
“You worried he’s gonna start taking drugs again?”  
“If he cant handle people knowing. I..” Aaron sighed and looked at Adam.  
“What?”  
“Well you used to do drugs. If things when wrong do you think you’d start again?”  
“Ive got my family and Vic and I know I’ve got you but if he feels he hasn’t got any one… I don’t know mate. You’ve gotta talk to him.”  
“He told us to leave it.” Aaron said biting his lip and Adam knew he wasn’t going to leave it.

Aaron knocked on Vic's front door and she answered.  
"Robert here?"  
"Yeah." Aaron walked through into the living room.  
"Didn't know if you wanted to get a pint?"  
"In the pub? I cant...."  
"Some where in Hotten then?" Robert agreed and they both got in a taxi and drove to town. "We don't have to go to bar west if you don't want."  
"Its fine." Robert said sounding a little distracted. They got in and it felt like the first time they went there again. They both said nothing as they drank their drinks. "So hows the scrap yard doing?" Robert said after his second pint. "So he finally speaks then?"  
"You were the one who wanted to come here."  
"Yeah I wanted to go on a fucking date with you. Give us a proper go like you said you wanted."  
"I need the toilet." Robert said standing up and leaving. He got in there and walked into a cubical before pulling a packet out of his pocket. He kicked the door when he was it was now empty.  
"You alright there mate?" A guy asked when Robert walked out of the cubical, he quickly shoved the small bag back into his pocket. "Out of coke? I can help you with that if ya want." Robert nodded as he walked over and shoved his hand into his coat pocket. "Shit. My wallets on the table."  
"Wouldn't leave it there someones probably gonna nick it."  
"No. My...this guy I knows sitting with me. He cant know about this."  
"Im always up for other methods of payment."  
"I cant." Robert said swallowing a lump in his throat.  
"Just a hand job, well, depending on how much you want."  
"How much will that give me?"  
"A line." Robert thought for a moment then nodded. 

"Took your time didn't ya." Aaron said when Robert sat down.  
"Yeah sorry. Sorry about before I had a job interview earlier, didn't get it."  
"Sorry."  
"No its fine."  
"You ok?" Aaron asked and Robert looked at him strangely. "You've been off since everyone found out and I just wanna ta..."  
"Thought I told you to drop it?"  
"How am I meant to drop that?" Robert stood up.  
"Im getting a taxi home."  
"Don't be like that Rob." Robert looked at him for a moment before shaking his head.  
"See ya tomorrow." He said before walking out. Aaron drank the rest of his drink deciding wether to go after him but he decided not to.

"Back already?" Vic asked sounding a little annoyed as she stood up from the sofa where she was making out with Adam.  
"Don't worry I'll be upstairs." He said as he walked out of the kitchen with a pack of beers.  
"Well did something happen? Are you two ok?" She said walking after him but he just went upstairs. Robert drank himself to sleep as Vic worried about him downstairs and Aaron fell asleep watching crap tv on the sofa after he finally stumbled home.

Robert woke up with a hang over and Vic banging on his door.  
"What?" He shouted.  
"Got another interview!" She shouted back through the door. He drove to Hotten again and again sat through an interview. This time though he'd got his wallet and surprisingly found the same girl who sold him some yesterday and managed to go to the mens before the interview started. They seemed impressed with his wok at home farm and working for Lawrence telling him they would be in touch. He drove around Hotten for awhile trying to convince himself to go home before he drove in the opposite direction. 

He knocked on the large white door at the top of the metal stairs wiping his nose.  
“We’re closed mate!” A voice shouted from inside.  
“I need to talk to someone.” He shouted back.  
“You police?”  
“No, I need to talk to Mitchell!” Robert shouted through the door. He stepped back as it opend. The boy from the other night looked at him and laughed.  
“Come to give him one of your little talks have ya?” The kid laughed.  
“He here or not?” Robert said trying not to sound as pissed off as he was.  
“He’s busy.”  
“Doing what?”  
“Don’t know sleeping, pissing, having a pint.”  
“Look you little prick.” Robert said and the boy looked quite amused. “Just get him for me or let me in."  
“You obviously don’t know him if ya think he’ll come to the door for a prick like you.” The boy said closing the door but Robert put his foot in the way.  
“Tell him its Robert Sugden.” Robert said forcing himself to hide a smug smile. The boy looked at him then turned to another boy who walked by him inside.  
“Tell the boss theres a Robert Sugden for him.” He said, then with a smug smile he added. “He wants him to come to the door.” The kid walked off and the boy turned back to Robert who was now wearing a smug smile. After a second the boy got a tap on the shoulder from someone behind him.  
“Mitchell.” The kid said sounding slightly scared and confused before moving out the way. The oldish looking man with tattoos creeping out off his suit opend the door fully and the kid half expected him to deck this prick who stood out side, he never expected him to hug him.  
“Long time no see.” Robert said patting him on the back.  
“Too long.” The man said before holding him out by his shoulders. “You’ve changed.” The man smiled.  
“You haven’t.” Robert smiled.  
“Ive been stabbed in the face Robert don’t trick me with flattery.” He smiled clearly not minding Roberts lie. The man had a scar in one cheek that looked almost like a massive dimple. He walked Robert to his office and before walking in Robert turned his head to give one more smug look to the very confused boy before Mitchell closed the door behind him. Robert sat on a leather chair as Mitchell walked around his desk to sit down. “Now though it is a lovely surprise to see one of my best boys back.” He said looking to Robert.  
“I, I need some gear. Not just a one off, something to keep me going.”  
“What happened I thought you were clean?” Mitchell said sitting down.  
“I…wait how’d you know I went clean?” Mitchell looked at him as if he’d just asked what his name was and smiled. “Right of course you got someone to stalk me.” Robert said sounding a little annoyed.  
“Hay. Only for a little while. What happened?”  
“Connor told my family I was a druggy rent boy.”  
“Now that kids gone off the rails.” Mitchell said picking up a glass of scotch. “One week he’s a hyperactive little prick sleeping with every bloke with a tenner and the next he looks like a dog that needs putting down.” He said downing his drink.  
“What ya meen?” Robert asked as Mitchell took out another glass and filled them both.  
“Having to get high off his face to stop himself jumping off a bridge. Think he should the little prick.” He sad handing over a glass. Robert looked at it remembering the first time Mitchell ever gave him a glass. He remembered when Clive introduced them and told the man, who Robert wasn’t ashamed to say scared him shitless at first, out right Robert was staying. It didn't take long for Robert to earn their respect and move up the food chain. Thats how he moved to the flat in Leeds, when he first saw it he felt like crying. It felt stupid now, thinking about how he used to live in home farm, but that dingy flat felt like a castle. Then he moved to a flat of his own, not just a dingy small one with rotting doors but one surrounded by people who where bankers or high class business men.  
“You look like shit Robert.” The man said.  
“Thanks, just come from a job interview.” Robert said drinking from the glass. The man sat forwards looking like he just found a gold mine.  
“You looking for a job?”  
“Im not selling my..”  
“No no nothing like that. Though have you seen yourself you look like a fucking model. Someone to look after the boys.”  
“A pimp?” Robert said sounding shocked for the first time.  
“Don’t sound so discussed.”  
“I don’t want, any kind of job with you. No offence.”  
“K. And Robert I know I probably shouldn’t say this, but don’t start with the drugs again. I remember how you were last time.” Mitchell said sounding concerned for the first time. “I know I never wanna see someone like that again, especially someone I care about.”  
“It wont get like last time.” Robert said looking down.  
“You really gonna tell your self that?” Robert looked up and opened his mouth before closing it again. "Look you better go.”  
“What? You gonna give me some gear or not?!” Robert said suddenly snapped out of his silence.  
“Yeah its not gonna get like last time.” Mitchell said sounding disappointed.  
“Its my choose if I wanna mess up my life!” Robert stood up and started walking up and down the room.  
“Look here you stupid little prick!” Mitchell shouted and Robert froze. “Ive seen a lot of stupid druggys in my time but your different. What is wrong with you?! Im trying to help you you ungrateful child! Now were you happy before Connor told your family?”  
“God you sound like Luke!” Robert said slamming the chair he sat on into the desk. Mitchell looked at Robert as he picked up the phone on his desk.  
“Luke? Ive got Robert here trying to buy some gear off me.” Robert heard shouting from down the phone.  
“Thanks Luck.” He said before handing up. “You stole from Luke?”  
“Yeah problem with that?”  
“You have a boyfriend?” Mitchell said standing up and walking around his desk.  
“He’s not my boyfriend.”  
“Fine, you want to throw your life away like last time go on. You know what I know a few men that would pay fuck loads to have another go on you. I know Luke gave you the same speech so I know what ever I say doesnt matter. You obviously don’t love this boyfriend of your.” At that he saw Robert look at him before he turned away agin. “You obviously don’t give a shit about your family or who ever this dick your shagging is.”  
“Don’t call him that.”  
“Your leaving him to become a rent boy, he’s obviously pathetic, worthless, shit in bed…” Robert pushed him up to the wall.  
“Dont.”  
“Then stop running away and talk to him.”  
“Why the shit do you care?”  
“Because I know what happened when you were at that house, and Ive seen you work your way through life.”  
“Shagging random men you mean?” Robert said his eyes tearing up.  
“I know you hate yourself, you had to be out off your face to get through the day for god sake. But if you love him, if he loves you, if he wants to be with you..”  
“What if I cant do it? You two keep telling me to man up, but I can’t. He’s gonna want to talk about it. How I slept with dirty perverts and, and I liked it. He’s gonna think I’m sick!” Robert said tears falling now.  
“That was only when you were in a dark place.”  
“Yeah and they rest of the time I just wanted to die! I just wanna forget it again.” Robert lost his footing for a moment before he caught it again.  
“You on something?”  
“No.” Robert lost his footing again before he stood straight.  
“Who’d you buy it off Robert? Robert? Did you know them?” Mitchell’s voice got quieter and blurrier as Robert fell back wards. 

He woke up in Mitchell's office and looked round horrified to see Aaron sat there.  
“What the hell.” Robert said trying to sit up but failing. He was still clearly out of it.  
“Robert.” Aaron said running over to him and knelt on the floor. “For gods sakes what have you done to yourself?”  
“What are you doing here?”  
“That man phoned me.” Aaron said. “You could of died!”  
“I spilt mine down the sink. I needed some more.” Aaron sat back and covered his face with his hands.  
“Robert why? Your hitting self destruct but I’m not gonna let you. You were a crying mess then you got angry then ya just acted like you were ok, I should of seen it was just one of your stupid walls.”  
“Its not your fault.” Robert said hazily.  
“Im gonna get you home, then your not allowed to pretend to be ok. Alright?” 

Robert woke up again on the sofa at Vics, more with it this time.  
“How did I get here?” Robert asked when he saw Aaron on the chair.  
“You walked to my car then I drove then you walked in.”  
“Oh.”  
“Yeah ‘oh'.” Aaron said hurt and anger in his voice. “What the hell made me think you were ok. I should of seen you were just pretending.”  
“Aaron don’t.” Robert could see tears in Aarons eyes and it killed him that he was the cause of them yet again.  
"What did you think you could just hide it from me and Vic? That you've been using again?"  
"Don't know. I didn't care."  
“Tell me. About when you were a rent boy.”  
“What? No.” Robert said shocked.  
“You nearly died because you can’t handle it. You told me you hated yourself. Mitchell told me some things.”  
“What things?” Robert said worried.  
“Told me that it was like a drug for you at first. Is that true? You got off on it?” Robert looked more ashamed then Aaron had ever seen him before.  
“It’s complicated.”  
“Ive got all day.” “Was it like.. like punishment? Like how I self harmed?”  
“I don’t know, I guess sometimes. But… but it wasn’t…. It.. it made me feel wanted.“  
“What?"  
"I don’t know, I liked being used, it… when I left all I kept thinking about was how much of a failure I was. I kept trying to prove something to my self, trying to prove I was worth something to mu dad. It…it was like rebelling or something. I didn't want to be something mu dad would be proud of, I didn't want to be something I’d be proud of. I liked how that felt.”  
“When did you stop liking it?” Aaron asked.  
“Don’t know. I guess I liked hating myself. I didn't always like it like I like having sex. I just... kept feeling worse, sometimes I liked feeling worse but… I don’t know how to explain it.” He looked over and saw Aaron trying not to cry and he bit his bottom lip. “I swear its different when we have sex. Even when its rough…”  
“Did you take the drugs today to feel bad about yourself?”  
“No. I took it because Connor brought back all the twisted stuff I did.”  
“Promis me you wont take any again.” Robert didn't answer. “No matter what you did in your past I love you.”  
“You still wont be able to stop yourself thinking about it.”  
“I don’t care.”  
“Aaron I’ve been with guys twice my age and liked it. Liked how dirty I felt, liked them pushing me around, passing me round like some joint for them to get high off. It wasn’t all about feeling bad.” Aaron got up and walked over to where Robert was now sitting on the sofa. He sat down beside him and kissed him before Robert moved away. “But..”  
“I still want you, you still drive me crazy. Don’t punish yourself for what you did in the past.”  
“It just all keeps running through my head. I just want to claw my skin off.” Robert said. “All the men that have touched me, it makes me wanna be sick.” Aaron hugged him close.  
“Its ok.”  
“No..no its not.” Robert said moving away. Aaron grabbed his hand. “I just wanna get off my face and forget everything.”  
“Well I guess nows when you decide.” Aaron said standing up and wiping tears furiously out of his eyes. “Ya can just give up, go get high, or you can talk to me. I don't care anymore.” Aaron said before walking out.


	11. Chapter 11

Robert punched the arm rest of the sofa. He didn't know what to do, it was such a dark time in his life and he felt like he was there again. He could remember every minute of it that he tried to push away in his mind but it all flooded in now. His first time, both with a man and selling his body. He can’t remember his name, doesn’t want to, but he remembers everything else. Remembers when he saw Connor after he woke up from trying to end it all and him excepting the job offer, going to that night club and meeting Clive with Connor. All the men he met there and at the flat, remembered that house. He just wanted it all to go away again. He just wanted it to stop playing over and over again in his head. 

Aaron marched up to the bar in the wool pack. “I need a pint.” He said to Marlon.  
“Are you ok?” Vic asked coming out from the back room.   
“No.” Aaron said quietly brushing away a tear quickly.   
“What is it?” Vic said running around the bar and standing next to him.   
“Its Rob.”  
“What about him?” Aaron didn't want to worry Vic but he knew she might be able to help.  
“He’s doing drugs again.” He whispered.   
“What?” Vic said high pitched.   
“I had to collect him from this scummy club because he took some dodgy coke.”  
“Is he at home?”  
“Yeah, he’s on the sofa.” Vic marched out of the pub and over to her house. She walked in expecting to see Robert on the sofa but he wasn't there. “Robert!” She picked up her phone and called Robert, after three calls with no reply she called Aaron. “He’s not here.”  
“Figures.”  
“What club did you pick him up from Im gonna go check if he’s gone there.”  
“Vic it looked well ruff.”  
“Exactly why I don’t want him there!”  
“He’s friends with the owner, Im sure he can handle himself.”  
“Don’t you care? Please Aaron.”  
“I’ll phone that guy, we swapped numbers incase Robert ended up there again.”  
“Ok phone him then.”

Vic stood in the living room un-patiently, quickly pressing answer when Aaron phoned her again.  
“He says he not there but if he turns up he’ll phone. Gave me some places he might go.”  
“Ok.”  
“Vic..”  
“We’re going and Im coming with you. I’ll meet you here.” She said hanging up. He didn't look very willing to go when he turned up but he went anyway, knowing Vic would just go on her own if he didn’t. 

The first place they tried was the apartment. Aaron knocked on the door and a man opened it a little, he was about to open the door all the way for him when he spotted Vic.  
“We’re looking for my brother.” Vic said.   
“Oh, he a worker or a costumer?” The man asked.  
“Robert Sugden he was here the other day apparently.” Aaron said no being able to stay silent. He didnt want to think of Robert as either of them things though he knew he had probably been both.   
“You Aaron?” The man said lifting up his eyebrows.  
“Yeah.”   
“See why he came out for you.”  
“Is he here or not?” Aaron said angrily.  
“No. You tried the night club?”  
“Yeah Mitchell said he’d phoned if he turned up.” Aaron said slightly less annoyed but getting worried, this was one of the nicer sounding places on his list.   
“You tried round Clive's.”  
“We’re gonna go there next.” Aaron said. The man nodded and closed the door. Aaron tried to keep it together as they walked down the stairs of the block of flats.   
“Clives the dodgy cop he knows.” Vic said remembering when she almost got Adam arrested.  
“Yeah and he was Roberts pimp.” Aaron said bluntly, to worried to think about how Vic might feel. “Come on I’ve got his address.” 

They drove there and found a row of nice looking houses with front gardens and rose bushes. But Aaron knew that it wasn't only nice people the lived in nice places. He walked up to the front door with Vic and knocked. A pregnant woman answered.   
“Umm.” Aaron said not expecting that. “Is Clive here?”   
“You friends of his?” She asked.  
“He knows my brother.” Vic said. “Robert Sugden.”  
“Oh Robert.” “Clive!” A man came from a different room and stood beside her. “This is Roberts sister.”  
“Oh, hi.” He said looking quite confused.  
“Yeah we need a talk with you.” Aaron said.   
“Ok, love you can go inside its fine.” Clive said before the woman walked away and he stepped outside closing the door behind him.”  
“Have you seen him?” Aaron asked.  
“Who Rob? Not for a few months no.” He could see neither of them looked please with that answer. “Has something happened?”  
“Its non of your business mate. Come on Vic.” Aaron said before they walked away, the man went back inside and closed the door again. 

“Wheres next?” Vic asked but it was clear Aaron wasn't happy. “Aaron?”  
“Its a crack den.”  
“Well he might not be there.”   
“Yeah and he might.” Aaron said. "I shouldn’t of left him at yours.” Aaron said calmer.  
“Aaron if he’s decided to.. to go to a crack den its not your fault for leaving him.” The rest of the drive was silent till they got there. “You really think he might be here?” Vic asked looking at the derelict building.   
“Mitchell said he lived here for a few months, Robert I mean. That Connor helped him get off the stuff.”  
“It doesn’t even sound like Robert, I cant believe he used to…Can we just go try and see if he’s here?”   
“Come on.” Aaron said getting out the car. They walked round the house staying close to each other as they did. They had no luck finding Robert and Aaron wasn't sure if he was relieved or not. If he wasn't here where was he?

Robert pulled up out side a block of flats he got out his car and walked in going up the stairs. He knocked on the grey flaking wooden door but no one answered. He took hold of the door handle hoping it wasn't locked, it wasn't, it opened slowly and he stepped inside.  
“Connor!” He shouted as he walked through the small smelly flat. He walked over to another door and opened it. Inside he found a bed with a pile of covers, he was about to step back out the room when he saw a bit of blond hair poking through the top. “Connor.” He said walking over and began to remove the covers.   
“Go away.” Said Connor in a small voice.   
“Right get up.”   
“Go away.” The voice said again, he sounded like he was going to cry. Robert sat on the bed beside the heap of covers.  
“What you on?” Robert said with very little bed side manner.   
“Nothing.” Connor said quietly.   
“Yeah right.” Robert pulled the covers down a little to reveal Connors face. “Mitchell said you’ve been a little shit recently.” Connor didn't say anything. “Thinking your some big man who cant get hurt. I phoned round on the trip here, seems you’ve been a right little prick then disappearing.” Connor still stayed silent. “I don’t know what you’ve been on but people aren’t to pleased with you. Me included.” “You know what I don’t know why I bothered coming here.” Robert said getting up and leaving the room. He didn't know why he came here, to see if Connor had any gear to share, to shout at him, to see if he wanted to fuck him like they used to? He walked out of the flat and shut the door behind him. He drove into Hotten and sat outside a Tesco's in his car. He saw a man round the edge of the shop looking shifty. After seeing a woman getting something off him Robert walked over. “You selling?” Robert whispered and the man looked him up and down.  
“What gear you after?”   
“What you got?”  
“Coke, weed.” Robert got his wallet out and swapped some money for two bags of coke, all the man had left. He shoved the small bags in a pocket and walked back to his car driving off. He stopped in a lay by and got out his card and a five pound note.

Aaron and Vic walked out of another house, this time it smelt like weed. They got back into Aaron's car and Aaron hit his head on his head rest.   
“Hey.” Vic said placing a hand on his arm. “We’ll find him.”  
“I know, he’s gonna be ok Vic.” Aaron said trying to reassure his friend before driving off again.

Robert turned his phone on to find ten missed messages.

Vic picked up Aaron’s phone, as he was driving, and answered it quickly seeing it was Robert.  
“Robert?!”  
“Vic, what are you doing on Aaron's phone...”  
“Where the hell have you been?! We’ve been worried sick driving round...”  
“Wow hold on, I’m fine I’m in Hotten, can I talk to Aaron?” Aaron was already pulled over and took the phone from Vic before she had time to tell him Robert wanted to talk to him. “Where the hell are you? Are you ok? Have...” Aaron said almost crying.  
“I’m fine, I’m fine.” Robert said quickly hearing how worried Aaron was.   
“Thank god. We’ve just been to a fucking crack den trying to fine you. Please come home, please I don’t care if your high I just want to be there so I know your be ok.”   
“I’ll come home.” Robert said quietly. “I’ll see you there.” He said before he hung up.

Aaron drove back to Vic’s quickly and saw Roberts car out front. He jumped out of the car and ran into the house hugging Robert when he saw him. “Are you ok?” Aaron asked hugging him.  
“Yeah.” Robert said hugging him back. “I thought you said you didn't care anymore.” Robert said quietly.  
“Of course I care. I love you you idiot.” He said not letting go of him. “Are you high?” Aaron asked quietly and felt Robert nod into his shoulder.  
“Yeah.” Vic walked over from where she was standing near the door.   
“Robert.” She said quietly and he looked up to see her but didn't let go of Aaron. She stayed silent and let them both hug each other till they slowly un-wrapped from each others arms. “Im sorry.” Robert said softly.  
“Its ok.” Aaron said just as softly. “Where did you go?” He said needing to know.  
“I went to see Connor, after what you said, I don’t know I wanted to have a go at him or something. Maybe I just wanted to see if he had any gear.”  
“Is that who you got the stuff from?”  
“No. He, he wasn't in a good mood so I left.”  
“Who was is? Who you got what ever your on off?”  
“I don’t know, just some guy.”  
“What are you on?” Vic asked, almost not believing she was actually asking what drugs her brother was on.  
“Coke.” He said quietly. “Its getting late you should just go home.” He told Aaron.  
“Hey I’m not leaving you.” Aaron said. “We’ll sort all this out in the morning, I’m just glad your back.”   
“Ok. Im gonna go to bed.” Robert said quietly before walking up stairs. Aaron followed him a little then rested on the door way of the living room.   
“We’re gonna get him off it Aaron. He’s going to be ok, Moira managed to get Holly…”  
“Yeah but she was just addicted.” Aaron said interrupting her. “He’s trying to forget what he used to do for a living.”  
“It’ll be ok Aaron.”   
“Im gonna go see him.” Aaron said pushing himself off the wall and walking upstairs. 

He knocked on Roberts door and walked in.  
“Hi.” Robert said, sitting in his bed in joggers and a black t.  
“Hi.” Aaron said walking over. “I wanted to see how you were.” Aaron said after sitting down on the bed next to him.  
“Im better now your here.”  
“Good.” Aaron was deciding weather to leave again or not when Robert spoke.  
“Can you stay?”  
“Robert.” Aaron said shaking his head slowly. “Your high I don’t think its a good idea us…”  
“Just… just sleep here, with me. We don’t have to have sex. Just say with me.”  
“Ok.” Aaron said. “Im just gonna tell Vic Im staying in your room.” He left and came back a few minutes later. “Should I um… can I take my jeans off I cant sleep in them?” Aaron asked Robert who was still sat on the bed. Wrapped up in a pile of blankets looking like everything was strange and scary. He nodded quickly to Aaron who took of his jacket and jeans before walking over to the bed. “Come on mate lets lay down yeah.”  
“Ok.” Robert said and Aaron helped him sort the cover out. They laid down together under the cover and fell asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> I love seeing what people think so leave a comment:)


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